Let me tell you a story. I went to a party last weekend, with a couple of friends. After a few drinks of course, guys started opening up, confessing things they would never dare say when sober.
I love this point in a party, where people speak out secrets they have been hiding for years, which includes tales of those hitting on their bosses, those who have been in a few of their colleagues’ beds, those who are not straight(most of the time it’s the girls confessing this), and many more escapades you would have never imagined.
So, during confession time, a dude openly stated that he can’t sleep with a girl in his bed without touching her, which I think, is fair. But then I asked him what happens when and if the girl in question is not interested. The guy said, without even blinking, that he would insist, until the girl gives in, otherwise, he would have it by force.
I am still in shock.
I am drinking, making merry with rapists.
I am dancing with, clinking glasses with, and laughing with men who wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of me if it happened that I was in the same bed with them, after the party.
I was so disturbed that night that after the party was over, I insisted I wanted to sleep alone on the couch in the living room, and not share the bed with my friends. I wasn’t even sure anymore who was really a friend and who wasn’t.
It is sad, but what’s sadder is the reality that most of the people who will take advantage of us when we are weak are the people we know so very well. The people we call friends. The men we call family. Our lecturers, our fathers, our guardians, our boyfriends, and their friends.
The men who will take advantage of you are probably not the strangers on the streets, but the people you interact with everyday, the people you trust.
Because this is the reality we live with, let us be careful and always on the lookout.
Go to parties, but don’t let down you guard. A while back I wrote an article asking you to avoid tasting people’s drinks at parties, do not leave your drinks unattended, do not party till late if you don’t have a concrete plan of what happens next once the party ends at 2AM. No one really cares for you as much as you would care for yourself.
So as we usher in the festive season, may we also usher in sobriety. May we be our own guards, not just of our bodies but also of our souls, before we trust other people to be our guards.
May we enjoy the month of December, and live to see the new year 2017.